Exclusive Interview
Lukas Gage Reflects on Falling In & Out of Love in Memoir ‘I Wrote This for Attention’
[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Lukas Gage’s I Wrote This for Attention.]
Lukas Gage — a self-proclaimed “toxic romantic” — has fallen in love several times, and they’ve all made their way into his new memoir, I Wrote This for Attention. From an early age, watching his brother and his then-girlfriend’s relationship unfold, the actor started viewing high stakes and instability as requisites for romance. An obsession with Rock of Love with Bret Michaels made him even more determined to find love.
From there on out, the Overcompensating star takes readers along with his teenage self as he searched for love. First came Kaylee, Gage’s “feral” girlfriend, whom he just couldn’t quit despite her habit of landing herself in juvie. Eventually, she made him swear off the “stupid love” that only offered high highs and low lows. He didn’t fall in love again until he moved to Los Angeles and met his neighbor-turned-first-boyfriend, Anthony, who abruptly decided that their relationship had run its course.
When Gage put pen to paper, laying out all of his past relationships, it helped him recognize a pattern. “I think that when you have abandonment issues at an early age in your life, I think that they leak into many interpersonal relationships throughout the rest of your life,” the author told Swooon. He added, “These same patterns of being codependent and having a romantic partner to help me feel whole or complete was something that I was really feeling in a wound that was there since very early on.”
Gage doesn’t skimp on the details or leave many things up to question in his book — including how he fell out of love, too. After discussing his relationship with Anthony, the actor explores his romance with someone he only refers to as “the Ex,” a “Malibu himbo” he stayed with to distract himself from his internal discomfort. “The Ex’ eventually gave Gage an STD, refusing to admit that he had slept with other people. Though he briefly gave “The Ex” another chance, it was essentially the push he needed to end things.
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The actor, who spoke to Swooon while promoting Gilead’s HealthySexual campaign, explained that including that anecdote in his book was important for his own empowerment. “I feel like whenever I would talk about that story in particular or a couple others in there, I felt myself shrink and get small, and I got sick of doing that,” he said. “I think having open conversations is the thing that ultimately will help me own my own story and help me be back in control of it all, but also help inspire other people.”
Ultimately, there were many points in Gage’s life that he debated not sharing in the book, wondering if it was too personal, too polarizing, or simply “too much.” He added, “But honestly, all those things that are specific are the things that people universally connect on and relate to the most in the book, so I think it just goes to show that the less fear you have about writing in and the less shame that you can do about it the more, you’re gonna have people actually connect with you as a writer.”
In his memoir, Gage recounts his months-long marriage to celebrity hairstylist Chris Appleton — who is only referred to as “the Husband” — in between conversations with his therapist. She was the one to diagnose Gage with Borderline Personality Disorder. Gage told Swooon that it wasn’t until he sat down to write I Wrote This For Attention that he processed their “whirlwind” relationship, which took place in 2023.
“It happened so quickly that there wasn’t even time to really reflect on it or even realize what was happening because it just went at light speed,” he said. “It was the quickest relationship I’ve ever had, and it’s ironic to say that with a marriage and a divorce, but it’s truth, and I think, on further reflection of that whole time period and maybe seeing why what events and what things led to that situation, it suddenly made sense that I wasn’t in a totally clear state of mind for a lot of it.”
He continued, “That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy it or didn’t have its fun and its good parts, but it was the first time I really reflected on it, because once it ended, too, I just moved on with my life and just kind of tucked it away until writing the book.”
Though the actor’s relationships so far haven’t lasted, Gage ends his book in a hopeful place. He writes that his divorce, for one, is only a chapter in a much bigger story. He also acknowledges that, despite everything, there’s a good chance he’ll always crave an all-consuming romance. When we spoke to him just ahead of the book’s launch, he maintained that perspective.
“I will always love love,” Gage said. “I will always be a romantic. I will continue to fall in love many times in this lifetime.”
