Mariska Hargitay Reveals ‘Genius’ Skill That’s the Secret to Her & Peter Hermann’s Marriage
Law & Order: SVU icon Mariska Hargitay didn’t get married until she was 40, and she’s more than content with that. “I don’t think I could have handled a marriage earlier,” Hargitay admitted to Amy Poehler on the Good Hang podcast. “I don’t think I’d be married. I had too much to learn.”
She found her soulmate in Peter Hermann, whom she met on the set of the NBC crime drama. They dated for two years before he popped the question in 2004, and they got married four months later. After more than 20 years of marriage and three kids, Hargitay opened up about the secret to their long-lasting relationship. It’s all in the communication.
“It’s so genius,” Hargitay began. “I’ll tell you something, we have a skill that I wish I could teach.”
“We do this thing where we switch roles,” the actress explained, noting that she and her husband keep things light with “comedy” in their marriage, which “always works.”
Hargitay admitted that she’ll “get mad” at Hermann because he “leaves little messes everywhere,” whereas she’s much more organized. “I need the mental space for something to be organized with so much going on,” she told Poehler. Hargitay and her husband will argue about it, but she knows her husband hears what she’s saying.
When the roles are reversed, like when Hargitay leaves a cup sitting somewhere it shouldn’t be, Hermann will “say the same thing” she said to him. “He’ll say exactly what I said. So what it means is he really gets it. It works with everything,” Hargitay pointed out. She called it “wife appropriation,” and Poehler said this role reversal is what they teach in couples therapy.
In addition to Law & Order: SVU Season 27, Hargitay directed the HBO documentary My Mom Jayne about her late mother, Jayne Mansfield. At the end of the film, Hermann surprised Hargitay for her birthday by buying her mother’s beloved piano, which the actress had been trying to acquire for years. He had the piano flown across the country so Hargitay could keep it in their home forever.
