The 14 Most NSFW Moments of ‘Love Is Blind’ Season 9, Ranked
Warning: We’re about to dive into the most sexual moments of Love Is Blind Season 9. Grab a cozy blanket and snacks. Trust us, you’re going to need them.
We’re trying to close the book on the messiest season of Love Is Blind yet, but these NSFW moments are still living rent-free in our brains even though the season is over. The internet cannot get over how ridiculously horny the entire cast was this season. Some speculate production nudged them to crank up the naughty chat after the relatively tame Minnesota season, but honestly, whether that’s true or not, the cast DELIVERED.
Behold: The 14 most NSFW moments of Season 9, ranked from a mild shudder to full-on wide-eyed horror. Which one shocked you the most? Do you think Season 10 will be able to match the freakiness of Season 9? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
Love Is Blind, Season 9, All Episodes, Streaming Now
14. A Good Man Butt (Episode 3)
Right before meeting Joe Ferrucci for the first time, Madison Maidenberg exclaims she can’t wait to “bite his little tushy! I love a good man butt.” It’s definitely low on the NSFW scale, but we have zero doubt she followed through once they touched down in Mexico.
13. BDE? (Episode 4)
Megan Walerius tells Jordan Keltner she thinks he has BDE, aka Big Dick Energy. Jordan pauses, figures out the acronym, and then claims he actually has SDE. Joke or not, we’re here for it… and for the view of those tight black skinny jeans. Megan’s response? “As long as you know what to do with it!”
12. Wait, Strippers? (Episode 8)
Ali Lima and Anton Yarosh were cruising along… until they met up with his bestie and the bestie’s girlfriend. And, of course, she spilled all the tea, including Anton’s fondness for strip clubs. Uh-oh, trouble alert. But weirdly? We never actually see the fallout. His party lifestyle comes up through his drinking, sure, but the strippers? Crickets. And we still have no idea if Anton’s bachelor party included any exotic dancers.
11. Name in Bed (Episode 3)
So, we’ll get to Annie Lancaster and Nick Amato’s most NSFW offense soon, but we have to talk about this pod moment. Nick admits he can imagine saying her name in bed, letting out a breathy, “Oh f*ck, Annie.” She giggles it off, and then they dive into the potential of role play. “I’m such a horndog over here,” Nick confesses. “I’m all pent up.” Oh, and the struggle is real, as he also complains he can’t “Google titties” in the pods. Priorities, Nick.
10. That Chicken Smoothie (Episode 9)
We do not care what you say — this scene was Not Safe For Watching. Dark, fetish-y, and borderline illegal vibes all around. Jordan had previously teased his “chicken smoothie,” and yes, we hoped it was a joke… but nope. In Episode 9, he actually makes it for his fiancée, Sparkle Megan. He blends cooked chicken with Crystal Light, and bless her heart, she tries to choke down a sip. Filthy. Truly.
9. Baja Sex Talk (Episode 6)
When couples get together in Love Is Blind, sex is usually on the table — no shocker there. But in Season 9, the conversation came up so fast and stayed way too long. The girls are happily spilling the deets, and it’s kinda cute…until Jordan randomly wonders if everyone is having sex at the same time. Wait, what? Why are you thinking about that?! Edmond then gets extra specific, admitting they “fool around” but are holding out for “deep sex.” Too much information, honestly.
8. Pool Makeout (Episode 6)
Look, Love Is Blind is no stranger to kissing. These people are engaged; we don’t expect them to hover fou feet apart. But the Joe and Madison makeout in the pool? Next level. The camera lingered… a lot. We got a full 360-view, all angles, and yes, the water was moving… way too much. Honestly, we’re starting to think the cameraman was enjoying this a little too much for our liking.
7. Straddling (Episode 6)
Also known as the most confusing breakup scene in Love Is Blind history. Kacie Anita McIntosh and Patrick Suzuki get engaged and meet, and all seems well — until her post-meet interview hints… something’s off. She asks to talk to Patrick at the hotel and drops the bomb: She doesn’t want to go to Baja, but also kind of wants to keep the relationship? Confusing.
But here’s the wild part: Kacie clings to him physically the whole time. Kissing, touching… you’d almost think they weren’t breaking up. Then, as they part ways, she sprints and leaps on him, koala-style, straddling him. Breakup or not, it was extremely intimate and extremely confusing.
6. Joe and Jordan (Episode 9)
This isn’t about Jordan and Joe getting freaky together — though honestly, we weren’t that far off — but their weirdly sexual commentary about others. It kicks off when Joe asks, “What do you think about Annie and Nick? Could Brenden lay it down harder?” Then he launches into a full play-by-play of Nick’s missionary game with Annie: “At least Brenden would switch it up. Throw it back, flip it over, rub it down.” Jordan chuckles in agreement. Ew. Just… ew. We hope they were mortified watching that back because Annie definitely didn’t deserve to be the center of this commentary.
5. The Foot Massage (Episode 6)
Kalybriah Haskin and Edmond Harvey might have been waiting for sex, but that foot massage/sunscreen session? A LOT. Edmond actually starts sucking on her toes — sunscreen and all. It’s absurdly sensual, and it goes on forever. Was he trying to seduce KB? Or was he just really, really into feet? Either way… yikes.
4. The Carpet (Episode 2)
Annie and Nick start off chatting about sexy, cute, wholesome things. Then it escalates quickly: Annie leads Nick on to come to the salon to help her clean — and they lock the door for a quickie. Things get spicy when Nick asks about the craziest place she’s ever done it, and Annie spills: A balcony on vacation. Smash.
But then… things get too much. They talk about how turned on they are, and Nick asks, “Is the carpet getting wetter over there?” Annie confirms it’s “soaked.” He even promises he’ll be thinking about her tonight — sir, we do not need your masturbation habits. And to top it off, he casually drops that he has a “chode.” We hate it here.
3. Floor Time (Episode 2)
People need to get off the ground, seriously. In the guys’ area, Edmond is lying flat with his mouth pressed against the floor. Brenden Guthrie calls out how…strange this is. Edmond shrugs and goes, “Dang, it feels good kissing something right now, bro. I ain’t kissed nothing in so long.” Then he keeps frenching the floor. We can’t even. Imagine the germs.
2. Horny 4 Meg (Episode 4)
Sparkle Megan and Mike Brockway read their notes about each other. Megan admits she wrote “horny for Mike”— cheeky and cute. Mike fires back with “Can’t wait to tie Megan to the bed,” and yes…we all gasp. They confirm they’d share a gooooood sex life, which, honestly, is a shame we never get to see in action.
1. Landing Strip Alert (Episode 4)
Kacie and Patrick took the cake this season with a conversation that will live rent-free in our brains forever. Patrick is kind of doubting Kacie’s commitment, especially with the MYSTERIOUS TIKTOK EX (drop who you think it is in the comments). So Kacie uses a classic tactic to reel him back in — dirty talk.
“I wanna touch you so bad,” she moans, then dives into the details: Her landing strip, how she got waxed to be “ready for [her] man,” and even offers to remove it “literally in one pull.” She links it to how he describes himself as a “baby seal,” which, honestly, we’d leave out of this entirely. More sexual innuendos, more cringing from our side.
Then it revs up: Kacie explains exactly how she’ll do him the first time. It’s basically full-on phone sex. She’s describing where her mouth will go, how she’ll sit on him, and yes…Patrick is doing his best to keep a boner in check.
