11 ‘Heartbreak High’ Couples & Relationships, Ranked From Worst to Best
Heartbreak High lived up to its name. The Netflix series offered us plenty of tumultuous romances over the course of its three seasons. It all started back when Amerie (Ayesha Madon) and Harper (Asher Yasbincek) made an “incest map” charting the hookups between their fellow students, kicking off relationship drama that would go on all the way until the end. There’s been cheating, miscommunication, and betrayals between some pairings. Some broke up as a result, while others managed to make it work or find their way back to each other, à la Amerie and Malakai (Thomas Weatherall).
Whether they lasted or not, pretty much every Heartbreak High couple is undeniably messy, but that didn’t stop us from rooting for plenty of them. Others, however, we just couldn’t get behind. So, since Heartbreak High has officially come to an end, we thought we’d rank the show’s couples from worst to best. Some of our picks had fleeting or undefined relationships in the show, but we still loved (or hated) them anyway. Let us know if you agree with our order in the comments below!
Heartbreak High, All Seasons, Streaming Now, Netflix
11. Dusty & Amerie
Amerie’s pursuit of Dusty (Josh Heuston) goes downhill too fast to make us root for them at any point in Season 1. First, he kisses Amerie, even though he’s hooking up with Harper. Not a great start. After Harper dumps him, Dusty once again goes after Amerie to get back at Harper. To top it all off, Amerie finds out that Dusty is responsible for spreading the rumor that she had a relationship with a teacher. Need we say more? This short-lived relationship is easily one of the series’ worst.
10. Dusty & Harper
Dusty is truly a harbinger of chaos in Heartbreak High Season 1. Granted, it isn’t entirely his fault. It takes two to tango, and Harper wants to get with him to get back at Amerie, who she knows has crush on Dusty. But kissing Amerie one minute and dedicating a song to Harper the next is diabolical work. They aren’t even an official couple for long before Dusty and Harper initiate a threesome with Malakai after he’s assaulted by a police officer and still reeling, which is awful of them. Dusty/Harper are nearly tied for last place with Dusty/Amerie, only just edging them out because Dusty seems to have genuine feelings for Harper at one point.
9. Quinni & Sasha
Quinni and Sasha (Gemma Chua-Tran) start out strong, but when they actually start to date, they lose their magic. It’s pretty much entirely Sasha’s fault. When Quinni tells Sasha that she has autism, Sasha becomes way too overprotective of Quinni. But the real nail in the coffin is how Sasha reacts to Quinni’s favorite author coming to town. Sasha inserts herself into Quinni’s plans, and then changes the plan, not checking in with Quinni about how she feels about that. Then, Sasha has the audacity to get annoyed about Quinni’s excitement over the books and say that it’s hard to be with her. Needless to say, Quinni’s way too good for Sasha. She deserves better!
8. Quinni & Taz
Speaking of Quinni deserving better — her next proper love interest isn’t a gem, either. We can acknowledge that Season 3 newcomer, Taz (Aki Munroe), has had a rough go of it, but that doesn’t justify what she does to Quinni. Quinni snitches that Taz is renting out the school’s sensory room to students, so Taz goes off the deep end and exposes Quinni as the anonymous writer behind an erotic fantasy story. Admittedly, Taz didn’t know that Quinni would lose her university scholarship chances as a result, but that was still the outcome. The fact that Quinni forgives Taz and gets back together with her in the end is mind-boggling. Sure, they have chemistry and common interests, but it’s just not enough to make us ship them.
7. Spider & Amerie
OK, so Spider (Bryn Chapman Parish) and Amerie aren’t ever an official couple after their one and only hookup, but we’re going to include them anyway. Removing Malakai from the equation, Spider and Amerie totally had potential. That enemies dynamic in Season 1 is so intense that it easily could’ve turned romantic down the line, with Amerie returning Spider’s secret crush. Sure, Spider’s too toxic before he gets with Missy (Sherry-Lee Watson), but could he not have had his redemption arc with Amerie?
6. Harper & Liam
Justice for Liam (Ben Turland)! Granted, we aren’t the biggest fans of a show introducing new characters as love interests in its final season, but Liam is a great guy for Harper. Liam becomes Harper’s coworker at the carnival in Season 3, and he proves to be a positive presence in her life. (He isn’t too old for her, right? The show never really said, so we’re electing to ignore that.)
It doesn’t take much time for them to grow closer, with Liam saving Harper’s ruined art project. He also advises Harper not to go to university if her heart isn’t set on it and forge her own path instead. We don’t get to see enough of Harper and Liam before the latter is wrongfully arrested, but all-in-all, they’re one of the show’s healthier romances. (Not a high bar to clear, but that counts for something.)
5. Harper & Ant
This is another case of a not-quite romance, but we thought Harper and Ant had endgame potential for a while there in Season 2. Showing a serious side of himself that others didn’t see, Ant was a rock for a traumatized Harper. While he develops a crush on her, Ant keeps it friendly, knowing that Harper is still healing from her Season 1 trauma. At the end of Season 2, Harper breaks it to him that she still isn’t ready for romance, but it seemed like she was getting there. It’s absolutely tragic that the show decides to completely ignore Harper and Ant’s relationship, platonic or otherwise, in Season 3. Regardless, they deliver one of the show’s best dynamics, even if it doesn’t last.
4. Amerie & Noah
We’re diehard Malerie shippers, but we can’t deny that Noah (Ioane Sa’ula) is a pretty stellar boyfriend to Amerie. Even though he lies about being at the carnival — which really isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things — Noah shows pretty much zero red flags. They tell each other everything, and Noah keeps Amerie’s secret about the prank. Amerie was in dire need of a healthy relationship after all of that Season 1 and 2 drama, so we didn’t mind Noah’s introduction in Season 3. His only fault is that he’s just a little too obsessed with perfection for the messy Amerie. We also could’ve been more invested in this pairing if we saw how they got together in the first place, since it happens off-screen.
3. Spider & Missy
Rest in peace, Spider and Missy, an example of the opposites attract trope at its finest — until the show decided that they were too different to last. We’re in the camp that Spider and Missy should’ve been endgame. Though it starts as a purely physical relationship in Season 2, Spider and Missy find something deeper. Missy brings out the best in Spider, who unlearns his toxic masculinity while he pursues a relationship with her. Once Spider learns how to embrace his vulnerability, he becomes the biggest simp (complimentary) for Missy and keeps changing. Not just for her, but for himself. Sadly, Missy isn’t as into him as he is into her. If Missy had returned Spider’s energy in Season 3 rather than dumping him, they easily would’ve taken the top spot on our list.
2. Amerie & Malakai
Amerie and Malakai revolve around each other for all three seasons of Heartbreak High. At every point, we had no doubt that they were meant for each other, even when they mess up constantly. (They’re two messy peas in a pod.) The chemistry, of course, is immediate, but then Malakai goes and cheats on Amerie during that threesome. (He’s traumatized, though, so we blame Harper and Dusty for that one.) Then Rowan comes into the picture, but Malakai is still hung up on Amerie. It’s a classic case of bad decisions and the right person, wrong time, until the very end of Season 3. As Amerie says when they choose each other in the series finale, they’ve been through so much “s**t, but that just makes it more.” They’ve grown together — we just needed to see them actually be a proper, functioning couple, and Season 3 doesn’t give us that. That’s the only reason they aren’t in the number one spot.
1. Cash & Darren
You know who we do get to see be a functioning, thriving couple? Ca$h (Will McDonald) and Darren (James Majoos). It took a lot for them to get there, but they do get there, making them Heartbreak High‘s best romance of all. They start out as unlikely friends, and it’s another stellar opposites-attract situation. Even though they struggle to navigate Ca$h’s asexuality as a couple in Season 2, they don’t take too long to communicate. They figure things out and remain committed to making their relationship work. Not to mention, Darren sticks by Ca$h’s side even when he’s sent to prison for his eshay issues. That’s true love.
Even if they don’t get nearly enough focus in Season 3, Ca$h and Darren have worked through all of their internal issues, and their only conflict is Darren moving away to pursue acting. And even then, Ca$h is supportive. They trust each other so much at that point that long distance doesn’t faze them. When it’s all said and done, Ca$h and Darren blow every other Heartbreak High romance out of the water, if you ask us.
