Bachelor Nation
‘Bachelor’ Star Rachael Kirkconnell Reveals Her Status With Matt James After His Breakup Apology
Rachael Kirkconnell and Matt James‘ early 2025 breakup shocked Bachelor Nation. The Bachelor Season 25 couple had been together for four years when James suddenly took to Instagram to announce their split in January.
His dramatic caption read, “Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord 💔.” He has since deleted the post.
Kirkconnell revealed on Call Her Daddy that she wasn’t briefed about her ex’s statement before he sent it into the world. To make matters worse, she didn’t even see it until hours later when she landed in the U.S. after being on a plane departing from Japan. A couple of months later, the 29-year-old is revealing more details, including what her relationship with him is like today.
“We did have a conversation after the podcast and, again, I think if he ever wants to share his side of it and his story then he’s more than able to, of course,” Kirkconnell said on The Squeeze podcast. Since the split, Kirkconnell has done a lot of healing. “I think that hearing certain things come from him helped me a lot. I think that, you know, not only did he apologize for things, but he took a lot of things back,” she revealed.
Kirkconnell continued, “Of course, that was really hard to hear and it was really sad and it hurts — I don’t know. Sometimes I tell myself it was so nice to hear the things I had been wanting to hear for weeks and I finally got that apology and that closure and that honesty that I needed from him. But it still didn’t change anything for me. It still happened. He still did what he did and we still had to navigate everything after that.”
However, her tune toward her ex-boyfriend has change. Even though she “totally” forgives James and has “no bad feelings” toward him, that doesn’t mean she wants to rekindle their former romantic connection.
“I think you can forgive someone without, you know, taking them back or wanting to work through things or whatever it may be,” Kirkconnell stressed. “I think you can forgive someone and accept their apology but then keep moving on. It doesn’t have to be just relationships, this can go as friendships, family, anything. You can accept their apology and you can believe that they are being sincere but it doesn’t mean you have to have them back in your life. It doesn’t mean, ‘Oh, I forgive you, let’s try this again.’ Or, ‘Oh, I forgive you, let’s be friends again.’ Because at the end of the day, if you know it’s still not right, and what they did is still not OK, you don’t have to take them back into your life, if that makes sense.”
Over time, she has also come around to a different perspective than before. “I think that I have come to the realization that a lot of it wasn’t me, or my fault or my problem. And I do think it helped that I had that conversation with him and I heard those things from him,” Kirkconnell candidly shared. “But even if I hadn’t, I think that is so important to acknowledge it for yourself, like, ‘It wasn’t fully me. It wasn’t 1,000 percent completely my fault.'”
In a post-breakup world, that’s “easier said than done.” She added, “There’s a balance to everything and I’m sure we both said and did things that we shouldn’t have said or done. At the end of the day, we just weren’t compatible on some things. We both have things we need to work on. And that’s OK.”
The two have spoken after their cathartic conversation but are not constantly checking up on each other. When the host asked Kirkconnell if she had been in regular contact with James, she promptly responded, “We are not in contact. I have not been texting him, I have not been calling him, don’t worry.”
Kirkconnell knows that her fans aren’t exactly happy about her feelings for James. “People are going to kill me for this, but I still do wish on some level we could be friends,” the Bachelor Nation alum shared. “Because he was my best friend. I’ll try not to cry. Of course, he was my best friend for years. We were friends before boyfriend and girlfriend in our relationship. Not every relationship is like that. Sometimes I would even look at him and be like, ‘Are you actually in love with me?'” she said. “For me, at times, it was like, it really does feel like we are best friends.”
That type of bond is something she craves in her next relationship.
Kirkconnell eventually divulged her hopes for what her future relationship with James could look like. “There is a part of me that I will always be rooting for him and hope he’s doing OK,” she said. “I would love to — maybe someday, not anytime soon, don’t worry guys — but I don’t know, a couple years from now or something, if we were to run into each other at an event or something, I would love to be able to sit and have a conversation and have a laugh and catch up. I don’t think either of us has any bad blood or ill will toward each other.”
