Exclusive Interview
‘Married at First Sight’s Nikki Reveals Ex Shawn Reached Out to Her After Reunion
What To Know
- Nikki Jefferson ended her marriage with Shawn Best on Married at First Sight Season 20.
- She addresses Shawn’s “wifely duty” comment about intimacy and reacts to his public apology.
- Nikki reveals where she stands with Shawn after the reunion.
Nikki Jefferson had one of the most talked-about Married at First Sight Season 20 journeys with then-husband Shawn Best. In the finale episode’s Decision Day, Nikki ended things with Shawn after a heated argument about the negatives in their marriage, which Nikki opened up about during the reunion and in a post-reunion interview with Swooon.
From the get-go, Nikki was honest about Shawn not being her physical type, which she had told the experts. But over the course of the season, she realized why the experts matched them, and after everything, she still understands “on some levels.”
“I think on aspects like our career ambition, our sense of community, our strong personalities, and being really convicted about wanting marriage, I can see why they matched us,” she told Swooon. “I would also add our similar backgrounds and experiences, right? And that’s kind of a lot of the points of connection throughout the show, on and off camera.”
She thinks their lack of compatibility was difficult for the experts to figure out at first. “The way we communicate, gender role expectations, expectations in a marriage, how we conflict and repair, and I’m sure everyone has had a chance to see that play out, and so I think those are, to [the experts’] credit, harder to assess, right? But yeah, to me, they’re more important, and that’s ultimately why it didn’t work out.”
Mat Hayward / Peacock
About midway through the season, following repeated conflicts on various issues, Nikki and Shawn reached a turning point. A meeting with expert matchmaker and couples’ therapist Paul C. Brunson changed their trajectory, at least for several episodes. Nikki noted that he’d helped them communicate better and their conflicts were bringing them closer. That was real, she confirms after the fact.
“To many around the table, it felt like like we flipped the switch, and all of a sudden we’re getting along, and it felt a little artificial, but I will say it was legitimate,” Nikki said. “It was legitimate that we had had a stretch of time where we were getting along, we were using our tools, we were both being tuned into one another, and it was a stretch of time that was fun, and we had harmony, and we had good times.”
But there were still roadblocks, one being his comment about intimacy being a “wifely duty.” He later told Nikki that he “would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever say, ‘Okay, it’s your wifely duty to please me.'”
“I didn’t believe him,” Nikki said of Shawn’s claim. “I was crystal clear that he had said it was something like a ‘wifely duty.’ Now we saw playback, and the words were a little bit in a different order, but he basically said that’s kind of your duty as a wife, right? And so in that moment, I was like, ‘OK, classic Shawn, you’re changing the story, and so I was trying to make that clear, and it was just really great to have it on camera so the truth could be known.”
After the moment aired in the August 6 batch of episodes, Shawn took to Instagram on August 10 to apologize for having “gaslit [his] wife.” In the since-deleted post, per Cosmopolitan, Shawn wrote, “I apologize. It was my wrongdoing. Full stop. I am starting to get it now. And I am truly sorry to my wife and the many out there who’ve felt the wrong side of feeling before.” He added that he “tried to backtrack, and did not own up to what [he] said.”
“I saw the post, and I thought I found it interesting that he was delivering a public apology, and I appreciate the effort, and I think words are one thing, right?” Nikki told Swooon. “I think it’s a matter of really internalizing what was wrong and becoming a better person. And I hope that for him.”
Peacock
The reunion was actually the first conversation they’d had since their split, so she hadn’t received a personal apology before Shawn’s post. “Yes, it was a surprise, and I question the sincerity of it naturally,” she said. “I’ll just leave it at that.”
During the reunion, Shawn and Nikki got into another argument about why their marriage failed, particularly when Shawn addressed Nikki’s mother, whom he didn’t meet during filming. Nikki’s mom told Shawn that he disrespected her daughter. Nikki claimed Shawn gave her mom a “half-hearted apology” and “admonished [Nikki] about her choices” to not include her family in the process.
“It was what I was expecting,” Nikki said. “I had hoped for more. I had hoped that we could go into this being civil end to end, and that I know I had experienced growth post-show [and] during show, and I would have hoped to see him demonstrate more care and what he decided to speak to, and how he handled me and my mom in that situation, but I was not surprised by it at all.”
After the reunion, Nikki said Shawn tried to reach out, but she didn’t want to speak with him. “I feel like I didn’t really need closure,” she explained. “I got closure on Decision Day, and I feel committed about my decision. There’s not a lot of trust there, right, so why open up? Why open the door when it’s closed? I’m not seeking post-show friendship or anything, and I’m not seeking to repair anything publicly either. So, for me, there’s nothing in it.”
Post-show, Nikki said her life has been great. “I’ve just continued to live out loud, and I’ve maybe been on a couple of dates, but nothing is really stuck,” she added. “So I haven’t found my person yet. I still believe in love, and I’m hopeful, and I feel like now I’m better suited to step into a marriage, and get through ups and downs that I now know are natural.”
After watching the show back, Nikki has two main takeaways. “One, I realize that I can be both strong and soft,” she said. “I realize the layers that I have, and I think some of those layers helped me navigate what a difficult experience and a difficult marriage was. But I was able to maintain my boundaries, save my peace, and also demonstrate a tremendous capacity for understanding and tried really hard. In the moment, though, I didn’t even know if I was coherent some of the times because of the stress levels. So seeing myself play back, I’m like, ‘OK, I was completing full sentences. Good job.'”
Her second relates to the public’s reception to her. “Especially women and just seeing them connect with our story, my story, and me as a person, and to see themselves in me or be inspired by me,” she said. “That’s probably equally beautiful because that’s not what I expected, and I was really fearful about doing this public thing in such a personal way. But I’ve just been so filled up by all the love that I’ve been getting, and I’m figuring out a way to like give that back. I don’t know what that looks like, but I’d love to create a space for women to have these difficult conversations and to pour into each other and learn from each other.”
Married at First Sight, Season 20, Streaming Now, Peacock
