The Pods
‘Love Is Blind’s Sara & Ben Were Doomed From the Start
We’re closing the curtains on the most political season of Love Is Blind to date—and honestly, it might be the most politically charged season in reality TV history. Almost every couple in Season 8 touched on politics, but none sparked as much debate as the dynamic between Ben Mezzenga and Sara Carton.
Their clashing views—and even their engagement—got everyone talking about whether it’s really possible to be with someone so politically different from yourself, both online and off, which tells you just how raw and real these issues are. In today’s world, when politics can’t be separated from our personal lives, with women fighting for reproductive rights and the world feeling like it’s on fire, shared values in a relationship have never been more crucial.
And that’s why we can safely say that Ben and Sara were ill-fated from the start.
Politics entered the pods
Unlike Virginia Miller and Devin Buckley, who only discovered their differing political values during their engagement, Sara and Ben learned of their contrasts right there in the pods. Sara is clearly a very politically conscious woman. This is largely due to her relationship with her sister, Lisa, who is queer, so Sara prioritizes LGBTQ+ rights and whether or not a partner will support her family member. But aside from that, Sara seems to be mindful of many political issues.
Courtesy of Netflix
Sara asked Ben about significant social issues, including the Black Lives Matter movement and the killing of George Floyd. Despite both residing in Minneapolis, Ben admitted to being largely unaware of these events, stating he preferred to “keep out of it.” His avoidance of the racial tensions in their own city surprised Sara.
She was relieved that he supported LGBTQ+ rights, and he reassured her that he was certainly open to learning more. Sara proceeded with the relationship, telling viewers, “I just hope my partner wants to learn and [be] able to empathize with others and put themselves in other people’s shoes.”
Everyone outside of the pods was less positive about it.
Out of the pods and into the fire
This was only the first of many political and religious differences between the two of them. Sara had been initially hesitant about the role of religion in Ben’s life but had agreed to discover more with him. However, her expressions said enough as they attended a service at his church. Sara had initially been open to attending weekly with him but later clarified it would be for major holidays only. Ben seemed accepting of this, despite the role of faith in his life.
Sara also asked Ben more about his church’s stance on LGBTQ+ rights, to which he could offer little insight. Once again, this concerned her, as he claimed to support the queer community, yet had no insight into whether his church welcomed LGBTQ+ members.
However, the real issue wasn’t that they clashed. Rather, Ben didn’t have the passion to clash on a matter. He was apathetic about so much of it, while Sara was passionate about social justice. With such unbalanced energies, these two struggled to get on the same level about anything substantial.
It’s not a matter of heart versus head
As the pair reached the big day, viewers and Sara’s loved ones wondered if she would choose her heart or head. She and Ben had never really argued, at least on camera, and they seemed to always be laughing together. But we all seemed to forget that politics isn’t a matter of the head, certainly not to individuals as passionate and driven as Sara. The subject of LGBTQ+ rights was close to her heart, thanks to her sister. However, other political issues also clearly took up residence in Sara’s heart. She is someone driven by her empathy and an intrinsic sense of duty.
Courtesy of Netflix
At the altar, Sara proved that it was never about heart or head, but her knowledge of what she needs in a partner. She told Ben that they weren’t on the “same wavelength.” Sara then said, “My mind is telling me I can’t,” and it was down to “a lot of the values I hold close to my heart.” Unsurprisingly, she received applause from the wedding guests for that.
Choosing to marry someone or commit to them isn’t just about getting along and having feelings. It’s about shared values. Many resent the idea of politics taking a role in relationships, but that’s limiting politics to a box you tick on a piece of paper.
Politics is already in our relationships. It’s your stance on abortions, which can definitely be a topic that comes up first-hand if you’re intimate. Your acceptance of the queer community can impact how you interact with friends and family members, or anyone else you encounter. Your awareness of racial injustice is equally vital in today’s world.
To Sara, politics was a matter of being “a good fit.” She summed it up: “You can not date someone for their potential, as they might never reach it.” You can’t date, and especially marry, someone who differs so significantly in their political values, especially someone who doesn’t seem to care about them at all.
These aren’t issues you’ll encounter every four years when you walk to a voting booth; they’re present in your daily life. We knew Sara and Ben would never make it from that first conversation, and honestly, we’re surprised it took Sara so long to realize. We have no doubt they’ll both end up happy with individuals whose differences lie outside of the political sphere, like hating cilantro or enjoying foreign films.
Did you think Sara and Ben were going to make it work? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
Love Is Blind, Season 8 Reunion, March 9, 9/8c, Netflix
