Exclusive Interview

‘Married at First Sight’: Nick Shares His Side of Courteney Split & Where They Stand Today

Married at First Sight Season 20 ended early for Nick Uhlenhuth. The reality TV star, who’s been on The Circle and Perfect Match before MAFS, split from Courteney Landis before reaching Decision Day.

Throughout the process, Nick and Courteney struggled to see eye to eye, with Courteney’s main issue being that she felt Nick wasn’t being vulnerable. In Episode 14, the experts asked the couple whether it was worth staying together all the way to the end, and Courteney ultimately cut things off.

Nick spoke with Swooon about what really happened during that pivotal moment and in the aftermath, opening up about what fans have gotten wrong, where he and Courteney stand now, and his current relationship status.

Swooon: Was there more to that conversation with the experts when you guys broke up than what was shown on screen?

Nick Uhlenhuth: There was more to it, but nothing crazy significant. Basically, it was just Paul asking repeatedly, “What is the point of staying? What is the point of staying?” Until one of us cracked, essentially. But at that point, it was so obvious that we needed to end anyways. It was gonna happen, kind of no matter what.

Swooon: Did you feel like if Courteney hadn’t been the first one to say it, you might have been the one to?

Uhlenhuth: Yeah, for sure. I was definitely ready to end it by that point. I had tried to end it [before]. You see on camera, actually, before the group session, we’re in our apartment, and it shows me saying like, :I don’t see how this could work long term.” That was part of a bigger conversation where I was basically saying, “I don’t think it’s gonna work. We’re not really compatible romantically.” Like, basically a breakup conversation, and then she says she doesn’t want to give up yet. I really thought she was gonna say, “I agree, we should end it.” But she says she doesn’t want to give up. So then I kind of give her the benefit of the doubt of like, OK, well, maybe one more revelation, and then we get to the group session after, and then I think the conversation we had beforehand, plus being pressed by the experts, it was due.

Swooon: That sounds intense, too. Do you feel like that pressure from the experts was needed?

Uhlenhuth: It was worth it. I think it was good. Yeah, we needed to end. I needed to get out of there.

Swooon: Could you tell me more about the immediate aftermath? We saw you both talk again outside of the building right after the expert session.

Uhlenhuth: I mean, it was funny. In the session, Paul says, “Nick, do you think you tried harder than Courteney did?” I could have easily taken that layup and just slam-dunked on her. Yeah, I do think I tried way harder. But instead, I was like, “I don’t want to say I tried harder. She did try a bit, but I also tried.”  Whatever, I kind of gave us both credit. And it’s funny because outside, they don’t show her saying this, but they do show her saying, “Do you think you gave it your all?” And I’m like, “I do.” And then she goes, “Oh, really? Then how come in there, you said I put in way more effort than you?” I’m like, “That’s the interpretation you’re getting from that?” Like, oh my God! So the conversation we had outside was actually kind of the stamp of approval of everything going wrong and me getting emotional, and then her being like, “How dare you cry right now? Like, why didn’t you cry before?” It was just all of these things that were just reaffirming why we needed to break up, so that conversation was actually good for me.

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Swooon: Since that aired, we’ve seen some of your takes on social media. We’ve seen a bit of hers as well. Where do you stand now?

Uhlenhuth: I’ve seen some of the feedback online of people being like, “Why are they friendly in the comments?” I literally think there was one comment that she put on one of my videos about the beach scene. And because I said we did a whole Olympics thing, and she was like, “I guess we’ll never know who won,” and I was like, “Run the tapes,” or whatever… That was kind of it. I wouldn’t say we were necessarily buddy-buddy in the comments, but we don’t really keep in touch at all at this point.

Swooon: Was the reunion the first time you two had gotten back in touch after that breakup conversation?

Uhlenhuth: That’s the first time we had ever seen each other in person since then. I did reach out to her at the start of everything airing because I was seeing all the Reddit hate and everything, so I gave her some tips because, obviously, I’ve done reality shows before. I gave her some tips for how to make her social media less toxic, which I don’t know if she took that advice or not. But I basically wanted to tell her that, at least. But then after that, I didn’t really check in with her anymore.

Swooon: She said you weren’t being vulnerable enough with her during the process. Do you feel like she was vulnerable with you? Do you feel like you really did get to know her deeply before the relationship ended?

Uhlenhuth: Well, first off, no, I don’t think she was deep or vulnerable the entire time. She has one story that she’ll tell to demonstrate vulnerability, but she’ll repeat that story over and over throughout the… and I’m not downplaying the story, but that’s the one nugget. But it’s funny because then I’m put on the spot of like, “Nick, share something deep and vulnerable that you haven’t said before,” and I honestly consider myself an open book. I’m fortunate to not have deep trauma. I do now. Now, if someone asks, I’ll say Married at First Sight Season 20. But like, I don’t have that, and so I’m put on the spot. I’m trying to think because I know Courteney, and she had just cried about whatever she had opened up on, and I’m like, “If I don’t say something of that caliber, it’s gonna be held against me. She’s gonna yell at me.”

Paul’s like, “No, Nick, just say anything.” So kind of ironically, I’m like, “Hey, when I feel like I’m super judged, I can’t be my goofy self.” And then instead of Courteney taking that in… even though it’s a smaller and maybe not as good vulnerability for me to share, I still shared. Instead of being like, “Oh, am I contributing to that judgment and Nick not being goofy?” Instead of that, she was just judging my vulnerability. Like, “Oh, that’s not a good enough one.” I was like, “OK.”

And then watching it back, you can see me trying to dig in to get to know her more at a deeper level, where I’m asking about the cheating and asking, why do you have a fear of getting left? You see me ask these questions to differing amounts of an answer based on how much trauma they trigger and whatever. But watch it back. She complained about me not being deep, but what question did she ask me? I don’t even know if she knows that I have an older brother. She didn’t ask me anything. So it’s like, you see me trying, and then she never once asks me a deeper question. So it’s kind of hypocritical, I think.

Swooon: Was there any moment you making that effort and being vulnerable with her that wasn’t caught on camera?

Uhlenhuth: Well, there’s one that is caught on camera, where we’re in the car after one of the dinners or something. After she — to everybody — said Nick’s so insecure, and I’m like, this could be a moment for us to bond a bit deeper. Like, why does she feel that way? So I ask her in the car, “Why?” And she can’t even explain it. She spirals into some verbal diarrhea about something that eventually lands on Devin, and she’s like, “Devin is used to getting whatever girl he wants.” And then I’m like, “OK, that’s not me.” She’s like, “And I think you’re the same,” or whatever, and then I’m like, “Let me take this as a moment for us to get to know each other.” So I’m like, “Hey, Courteney, I’ve actually been rejected many times, and even on Perfect Match, I got rejected in front of the world.” I’m telling her about this as a vulnerability, and she’s looking out the window, not even engaging in the conversation. Sure, you can ask me to be deep, but you gotta listen.

Swooon: Are there any fan takes that you think have been wrong or misconceptions that you think they’ve had?

Uhlenhuth: I think in regards to media, there are some people that say Nick is boring or whatever, and they’re free to feel whatever they want. I think that that’s kind of a lazy interpretation because there’s a scene where Courteney says, “Nick is boring,” and so then you just kind of take that at face value instead of looking at the environment I was in. You can see day one of the honeymoon: I spill a margarita, and I’m cracking up. I’m being goofy. I’m like, “Oh my god, so embarrassing.” And then it’s like, Courteney just judging, sour face, judging me for it. And that’s literally day one. I came in very optimistic, very goofy, very much my bubbly personality vibe, and it was just almost immediately shut down. It’s day two of the honeymoon, and she’s doing interviews, saying she doesn’t want to spend a second with me, so it’s like, what are you here for?

Swooon: At the reunion, we saw you talk a little about your love life now, and I’m curious if your stance on marriage or your outlook on your love has changed after this process.

Uhlenhuth: I definitely still want to be married. I definitely believe in it. I still believe in love. I’ve been in love before, so I absolutely think that’s possible. And yeah, I’m dating again, having fun with it. I’ve been seeing this girl for like the last month and a half now. It’s going pretty well. I haven’t really been talking about it too much because, obviously, it’s super early on. But, yeah.

Swooon: Is there anything that you maybe would have done differently looking back?

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Uhlenhuth: I don’t really have regrets about things. I think it’s easy to say, “Oh, you should have spoken up sooner against her,” and things like that, but really, I tried to. It’s just, I don’t yell my thoughts when I’m debating things. I was just trying to be level-headed with it, and it was always getting shut down. So, sure, maybe I could have yelled better and gotten heated, but that’s out of character for me. That’s not who I am. And then you could also say, “You should have ended it sooner.” But I also don’t think that’s necessarily valid because I want to try to give it a good chance. You have the honeymoon, which didn’t go the best for us. But I was like, maybe when we move to Seattle it’ll be better. So there was always like, maybe this will work, and I wanted to make sure I really tried. So no, I think I stayed for a fair amount of time. I gave it like a good try, and I don’t really regret like anything. I’m super proud of how I held myself, honestly.

Swooon: Will you do any more reality TV after this experience?

Uhlenhuth: We’ll see. I don’t know about dating shows, but maybe like a competition show or something.

Married at First Sight, Season 20, Streaming Now, Peacock